Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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