you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
