I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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