I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
