thus making me awesome and them whores
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
