This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
