Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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