i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
