I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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