just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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