and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
