I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
