He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize