so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize