all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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