have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
