3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
