Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
50% drunk capacity currently
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
