So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
my poor anus
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
