remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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