Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men