he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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