I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the raccoons are back...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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