great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
