wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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