wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
