i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
