So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize