ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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