This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
