bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
