Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
