Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
