ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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