What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
