epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
organizing the empties. That sober.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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