idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
