Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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