I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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