im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
