you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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