I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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