Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
