i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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