she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
