remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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