I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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