just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Never underestimate the power of titties
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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