My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is my gift to your gina
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize