when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
