And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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