I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize