bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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