Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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