you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
