farters have to be the big spoon...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
