oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
zippers are such a cool invention
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize