Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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